So recently, my roommate put me on to that show that is all over Black Instagram and Twitter: “LoveIs.” For those of you not hip to the game, here’s a short premise:
“Set in Los Angeles in the 1990s, “Love Is–” follows a young black couple, two people from opposite worlds, as they go through the trials and tribulations of chasing their dreams and learning how to follow their hearts. Nuri is bubbly and has big dreams, but she is struggling to make a name for herself as a sitcom staff writer while juggling a string of romances. Yasir is an aspiring director/writer who has hit a snag and is on-and-off again with his ex. The program is told from the perspective of Nuri and Yasir’s present-selves while they revisit the social issues and the vibrant black culture that helped shape who they are today.”
Sounds real interesting right? It’s on OWN, so my initial thought is that it’s probably fire, and judging by all the tweets and posts, I was intrigued enough to give it a go. I will also share that I wanted to support my guy Will Catlett. I’ve been rocking with him since his youtube series “First”, produced by the amazing Issa Rae. Not to mention everyone’s favorite play Auntie, Loretta Devine. So one Friday night, I had my wine, I had my snacks, and I started the show.
After watching the series in its entirety, I’m actually super mad. Like BIG mad.
I’m not really sure what we’re trying to promote when it comes to Nuri and Yasir’s love story. From the beginning, the relationship is problematic. Yasir comes with literally so much baggage. Let’s name all parts of the luggage, shall we?
- He has no job
- Lives with his ex-girlfriend (who ends up kicking him out, so homeboy is definitely homeless.)
- He has not only a child, but an ex-wife
- He’s broke.
It’s not to say that we all don’t have baggage, but come on! Like you checking in several pieces of luggage, ya shit is heavy!
Now before the fellas get on me for coming at my dude Yasir, Nuri is not without fault. Here’s her initital baggage:
- She has like 5 lovers, and the door is open for all of them
- Trauma history
That’s just the beginning. We haven’t even gotten to the real emotional concerns.
My first issue is the fact that Nuri allowed this man to live in her home after knowing him for….three days. Ridiculous on so many levels. Girl, you barely know anything about this man. You didn’t know his last name, where he lived, nothing. But you ‘love him.’ Right.
Somehow, in three days, she became comfortable enough to let him not only stay over….but LIVE with her. As in: let him drive her car, giving him a spare room to ‘write’, and a key. Get the fuck outta here. NOPE.
Even after Nuri finds out his baggage, she’s still with the shits. He lives with his ex-girlfriend, girl. Why would one enter into such mess?! He hasn’t even sorted out his own life, and she is so quick to let him enter in her own.
THEN, Nuri herself is a trainwreck. What bothers me most about her is her inability to end things. She leaves every door open. She had unfinished business with Derek (ex boyfriend), she had Keith (guy she’s kinda seeing from work). Not to mention that she’s boning Will the production assistant, who’s in love with her.NOW she’s in love with Yasir? Cut it out bro.
Let’s break down the emotional red flags:
Yasir: insecure, dominant, aggressive, does not hold himself accountable, unreasonable. He literally acts like everything is happening TO him. Every single woman in his life coddles him: mom, ex-wife, ex-girlfriend. Was he trying to get a job before Nuri? Because it seems like he was chillin awfully hard when he was living with Ruby (ex girlfriend).
Nuri: insecure, gullible, unstable, irrational, needy. Cannot deal with any of her past trauma, and constantly swings back and forth with her emotions. She literally makes rash ass decisions constantly, and apologizes for it later. Mad unhealthy. Not to mention clingy AF.
Now I’m about to ruin the show for ya’ll, because the finale really prompted me to write this initially. I have never been so incensed watching TV besides ‘Power.’
Essentially, Nuri proposes to Yasir, after a month. I found that to be absurd, the entire dialogue, and legit laughed out loud. Yasir goes back to ex-bae’s house to get his things, and gets mad because old bae has moved on to a new dude. Insert fragile male ego, Yasir is ready to lay this guy out. Sounds like you have unresolved feelings, Yasir.
Did I mention that Nuri’s ex, Derek, proposed to her the other day, and she kept the ring, and decided to think on it? But didn’t tell current boo Yasir. Oh.
Then finds out that Yasir woo’ed her panties off with lines from his script. [Insert crazy here.]Calls ex boo Derek over, tells him they ova, but KEEPS the ring. Also keeps that a secret from Yasir for 20 years.
A fucking trainwreck.
Ya’ll can’t tell me this is really where we at with love. This is what we think healthy love looks like? This whole relationship had the makings of an abusive, codependent, unstable union. From top to bottom, it is dysfunctional. They have a lot of sex. That’s it.
What really concerns me most about shows like this, is that some of ya’ll really think we as humans gotta suffer this much to be in love. As if it has to be THIS hard from jump. I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that so much suffering has to happen for it to be real. In reality, Nuri and Yasir are an actual couple,they have been married for 20 years, and for purely research purposes, I will entertain Season Two. But we gotta ask ourselves this: what are we really willing to do and put up with for true love? In addition, do we have positive representation of solid, healthy relationships in the black community on TV?