Note: I’ve been sitting on this post for weeks, and literally as I type this, I realized that Valentine’s Day is this week. I usually dedicate a whole post to it, and legit forgot. But I will say this: I’m pretty indifferent about V-Day. If you got a bae and ya’ll going out and getting crazy with the gifts, that’s dope. Everyone should experience Valentine’s Day to the fullest at least once. If you don’t have a bae, that’s also fine. Do your thing, celebrate with your girlfriends, whatever you wanna do. Or don’t, because honestly, either way, it’s just a day.
[I just thought that shit was cute. ANYWAYS, moving on….]
______________ ______________ ____________ __________ _____________
/…Your face will be the reason I smile
But I will not see what I cannot have forever
I’ll always love ya, I hope you feel the same
Oh you played me dirty, your game was so bad
You toyed with my affliction
Had to fill out my prescription
Found the remedy, I had to set you free…/
It is amazing to me how we as humans can survive the unthinkable. Tragedies of catastrophic proportions, death, natural disasters, illness. We can survive and overcome, and to me it is one of the most remarkable things about being human.
On the other hand, it is baffling how many of us have suffered in unhealthy, unsatisfying relationships. And I mean SUFFERED. Years and years of just being unhappy. Have you ever looked back at old relationships and thought to yourself, why did I wait so long to end things?
Whether you are dating casually or in something more serious, your happiness never stops being important. We all know that it’s give and take, at times sacrifice to make things work. We know it requires honesty and teamwork to make shit work. We also smart enough to know that it takes TWO people to keep a healthy relationship going. So if something is wrong, it’s going to affect the relationship, period.
At some point, you realized that there was something wrong that couldn’t be fixed. There are always signs. Maybe you guys communicate differently. Like you enjoy phone calls and the other person only texts. If there is no middle ground reached, problems will arise. It’s a build up. Maybe you used to have date nights and now you only do sleepovers. Maybe your partner has stopped being affectionate towards you. Or the sex is bad. Whatever it is, you stayed a beat too long for a variety of reasons:
1.Starting over is garbage and you don’t wanna do it.
2. You’ve invested too much time with this person, so you gotta have something to show for it.
3. You’re (insert age here) and you only have (insert years) to have kids and blasé blasé blah.
How long did you pretend? How long did you convince yourself that things were not as bad as they seemed?
Only when you got distance did you realize how long you had been pretending. We ignore our instincts and suffer because of that.
Let me tell you something. You know what’s super basura? Being complicit in your own suffering out of FEAR. And as a result, inflicting unnecessary stress|pain|anxiety on yourself to save face.
Be kinder to yourself. You don’t deserve a partner who spends more time stressing you TF out, than making you happy. You deserve somebody who is committed to make the relationship healthy and happy. Arguments will happen, but if ya’ll spend more time disagreeing, rethink that please. Life is so short and unpredictable. If I knew then what I knew now, I would have treated myself better. I would’ve ended situations that didn’t serve me earlier. All I’m doing now is paying it forward.
Apologize to yourself for not valuing your worth enough in the past, and commit to not tolerating that shit again.