This post is timely. Recently I had the opportunity to sit down with HelloBeautiful.com, and talk about online dating. I’ve recently been having a lot of conversations about online dating and its pros and cons.
Currently, I know at least five couples in my life, who have met online. I even have a homegirl who met her fiance on a dating site. I think what’s bothering me recently is the attitude modern men and women have on the idea of meeting your bae online.
Here’s my thoughts. After doing the interview, it dawned on me how many women out there, particularly black women, are still skeptical about meeting men online. I also have noticed how easily it is to shame those who choose to try a less conventional way of meeting men. All of it is kinda strange to me. Riddle me this:
You are a single,20-something living in the city. You’ve dated casually here and there, but nothing seems to be working. You’ve tried switching up your social scene, asked friends to set you up, and dabbled into the idea of getting back with an ain’t shit ex out of frustration. You’ve made yourself as mixxy as humanly possible in hopes of running into potential bae at a game night or a wine mixer. But to no avail. Weeks go by, months go by, and before you know it, it’s been a year since you really dated anybody. While this is happening, Keisha from high school tried Match.com and is married with a child, Katie and Christina have boyfriends they met online…and they all have one thing in common…. they’re happy. You over here beating your head against the wall, trying to figure out what you can try next to meet somebody.
What is the harm in going on one date? I hear the same arguments, over and over:
“I prefer to meet people in person. It’s more organic.”
“Dating online is for losers.”
“Dating online is scary, there’s a lot of psychos out there.”
“It doesn’t work, and you’ll never meet your soulmate online.”
Newsflash: It’s 2017. We legit do everything on our phones. Order food, buy clothes, pay bills, spend a ridiculous amount of time on various social media sites. But yet it’s so ridiculous and crazy to possibly meet someone online? How, sway. If anything, swiping on Tinder is easier than spending 80 bucks bar hopping in 30 degree weather, hoping that Mr. Right will be standing at the bar waiting for your ass. If it was that easy, all of us would’ve met bae already. Be real.
Trust me, we all know the wonderful story of friends from high school who married each other, or our homegirl who met bae in college. Or my favorites, the stories that remind me of romantic comedies, when two strangers ‘meet at a party.’ Super cute, Mazeltov to you all, that’s amazing. You’re LUCKY. However, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 109 million people are unmarried in the United States. 109 million. That’s a ridiculously large number. So let’s not sit here and make it seem like this issue is a small one. 109 million people may or may not be searching for bae. Bae could be in another city, in another state, in another country. But you’re over here stressed about what your friends and family will think if you decide to create a Tinder account.
Give it a rest, will ya? You are smart enough to know that all of this is subjective. Those who have found love in a hopeless place via the Internets will tell you to try it, because it works. People who have met in real life, will tell you it’s the only way that works. The point is, everybody needs somebody. All of us want to experience love at least once. What in the entire fuck does it matter HOW in which you meet your ‘someone?’ Isn’t the point, just to be happy? Life isn’t a Disney film. This is not a romantic comedy, this is your life. Do what works for you, stop worrying about everyone else’s relationships, when they damn sure aren’t worried about yours. Be open, and give yourself all the chances to find love. Bae could be one swipe away.
Shameless plug, check out my interview here, because I’m still dumb hype about it.:)
https://www.facebook.com/hellobeautifulofficial/videos/10155198717428846/—-> Be sure to ‘like’ the page!