Hey kids! It appears that we’ve made it through the winter generally in one piece (aside from Trump, help us Father GAHD), and we are out here thriving.
We have a guest post from J. Banks, on what men really want. Check it out!
Men always know what they want. It’s actually quite simple, ladies. Whatever you desire, you’ll be able to tell if your guy wants the same thing. How? Well, because he will flat out tell you.
A man who wants to be with you will let you know. “I want to be with you.” Zero ambiguity.
A man who wants something more casual will say something along the lines of “I’m not looking for anything serious” or “I just wanna fuck” if he’s savage. But hey, if that’s all you want too then it’s a cut buddy match made in heaven!
Then you have the man who says what he wants by not saying anything at all. You may go on awesome dates. Do mad cultured shit. Have sex, a lot. May even be the best you ever had. Meet his friends. He meets yours. You’ll end up doing this for months on end until you find yourself wanting more. And why wouldn’t you? Everything is fucking fantastic. Until you have the “so where is this going” conversation. And then he is silent. Now you’re sad….but just maybe it could have been avoided. If only you were listening.
Ladies be honest with yourselves. How long are you willing to go on dating a man until you want to be the girlfriend? Is it 2 or 3 months? Well, honey if it’s 3 months, then why the hell are you still with him after month 6? Don’t emotionally beat yourself up. Remember all those times he introduced you by your first name, thus leaving the whereabouts of your relationship in a dark grey area? It was on purpose. Remember that time you paid for everything on a date…3 dates in a row? He didn’t care. He is now back to ballin’! Were you servicing him more than he was servicing you in the bedroom, if you know what I mean? Selfish lover. Find yourself cooking him meals often…has he cooked you any lately? The whole time he didn’t say a word but it was clear that he just wanted to chill. Have somebody to keep him company when he was lonely. Have an activity partner to do the things he always wanted to do but couldn’t find anyone to do them with. Meanwhile, you were like a rep for Dairy Farmers of America, giving ALL the milk away for free. I mean you were giving him your best moves. LAYING IT DOWN so you could lock him in. You already planned your wedding and the names of your kids. Meanwhile, he has been telling you for months what he wanted but you just weren’t paying attention.
I hear women say in frustration “I want to know what it is that you want” or “You never open up to me.” When what they’re really saying is “I want you to tell me that you want the same thing that I do.” Not gonna happen. You dated the guy who wanted something casual in hopes that he would become the guy who wanted a relationship. If only he could see how amazing you are. If only he could see you were wifey material. I don’t doubt it. You probably have a degree, cute pair of titties and a fat ass. But it never mattered how amazing you were because a loving, committed relationship was the furthest thing from his mind.
If you want a relationship, you have to date the guy who wants the same thing. The best part: you’ll never have to worry if he does! He will straight up tell you and not a million months down the road, but in the beginning.
The guy who wants a relationship will give you constant affirmations. He’s going to be the man who texts you everyday….multiple times a day. You love it. You can’t wait til your lunch break when you can see the last thing he said and reply with something sly and cute. He will say things that make you blush like “why are you so beautiful” or “I feel so good when I’m around you.” He could be a lawyer, surgeon, or have some other crazy time consuming job. That won’t prevent him from seeing you. When you’re apart, he will say he misses you and cannot wait to see you again.
The man who wants a relationship with you will declare it to you.
“I want you to be my girlfriend.” “I want us to be together officially.” Whatever the variation of it, he will let you know and do it in a way as to ensure you are NOT confused. This is what he wants. He wants you.
As for the ones who don’t know what they want… well let me just point out that the title of the article states what MEN want. A man will never leave you unsure about the status of your relations, but a boy can.
You may never get the closure you seek. You may never know the reason why, ever. Well, there’s a reason why; they are called f!ckBOYS. Also, don’t think they all display shady behaviors. There’s some nice f!ckboys lurking out there. Folks, that’s another blog for another time.
Declarative statements, ladies. What do you want? Because your man sure as hell knows.
Great post! From a male’s perspective, you have to be real with yourself. This guy who seems like “Mr. Perfect,” is ideal until he doesn’t want to fully commit. As mentioned previously, listen to the silence. If he really wants to be with you, he will do everything he has to do to keep you. Also, the man that verbally states that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, may actually want to be in one, just not with you. In his mind, there is a perfect woman out there that he is ready to give the world to…although it may not play out that way, that’s how he feels. So, don’t beat yourself up about any failed situationship. If you were never good enough for him, at your best, you would still never been good enough for him regardless. So, continue to flourish! Be with someone that will give you the world, and you will see the difference.
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