Don’t press repeat. Don’t backtrack, don’t unblock his number, don’t slide in his DMs, don’t re-friend him on Instragram.

Girl, cut that shit out. 

Nothing amuses me more than listening to young 20-something girls talk about surviving ‘cuffing season’ by boning one of their old thangs to survive the winter months. The discussion is the same always. I don’t wanna add to my bodycount. If it’s the same penis, it doesn’t count. It’s easy, no strings attached. I keep him in my phone just in case. Sometimes you just need it. It’s a good arrangement. 

Girl, who the fuck is you fooling right now? Girls are so good at lying to themselves. If you  over the age of 26, this mentality is old and tired. Grow up. There’s nothing ‘fun’ about fucking someone you already failed at a relationship with. What exactly is the point? Let’s see, you both get your rocks off, and then….what? You’re still single, you’re still lonely. You are still having the same conversations about why things didn’t work, you’re still convincing yourself it’s just sex.

Aren’t you tired? Aren’t you over the ‘you up/whatchu doin’ texts? Aren’t you exhausted by the same old story year after year, winter after winter? Like really. Think about why you’re doing this to yourself.

You don’t wanna admit that you’re lonely as hell, and the idea of not having sex is unappealing, and that you’re too lazy/unmotivated to try and meet someone who wants to be with you for more than a season. Why do we think this shit is healthy?

I have news for you ladies. It’s not healthy. It’s a wonderful way to stagnate your emotional growth. It’s great for resurfacing old wounds, and ultimately making you feel more unsatisfied, and unhappy than you already are. Sounds like a great time.

I know, because I’ve done it. I’ve unblocked the number. I’ve accepted the late night booty call text. I’ve kept the just in case number in my phone. But I knew I was growing, when I was no longer tempted to do any of those things. The longer I went without reaching out to exes in moments of loneliness/frustration, I knew I was evolving in the best way. I was now making room for love to enter my life. That’s the point. There’s a reason why they are your exes. Let that shit go so that real love can come into your life. How can you focus, when you still texting ‘Don’t Answer?’ How can you move forward, when you still staying up late, hoping that the drunk text you sent 30 minutes ago, will end in some meaningless sex?

It’s 2016. We’re rapidly approaching 30. Ain’t nobody checking for a wintertime boo, cut it out. Be mature, date, and think long term. Leave cuffing season to the youngsters.