The Importance of Alone Time

14 Dec 2001 --- Woman alone at a bar --- Image by © H&S Produktion/CORBIS
14 Dec 2001 — Woman alone at a bar — Image by © H&S Produktion/CORBIS

The idea of doing something alone, scares me. Yes, I can admit this. Underneath these dashing good looks and wit, is a scared, shy woman, afraid of feeling awkward in a social setting. What I mean is, the idea of being a single gal and attending social events alone….is uncomfortable.

As we get older, this dilemma becomes more and more apparent. While your friends are getting married and spending time with their significant others, you may still be navigating the dating world as a single female. And that shit can be hella intimidating.

It can be discouraging when you don’t have a steady wingman, to be brave enough to put yourself out there. We’ve all been there. You don’t wanna go to a mixer because you don’t wanna be that loser standing alone. You don’t wanna eat dinner solo because everyone’s gonna know that you’re not on a date. You miss out on concerts, day parties, movies, and other events because there is no one to go with.

Think about this. What does that really say about you as person, that you’re so worried about what strangers think about you? Chances are, you’ll never see any of these people again. And even if you do, that’s what headphones and sunglasses are for! Stop holding so much weight in the hands of people who don’t even know you.

It is a learned skill to be able to navigate the world on your own. Whether that means traveling solo (on my bucket list), eating dinner alone, training for a race, discovering a new hobby, starting your own business, hosting an event, or what have you.

I was actually reflecting on the year thus far, and honestly, I continue to surprise myself. The scariest things that I thought I would never be able to do, I’ve done already. Ran a marathon, co-authored a book, hosted my first event, put my curtains up by myself, the list goes on. The more I reflect, the more I remember how I felt after completing these things. I felt powerful, self-assured, confident, a certified badass. Subconsciously, I am always chasing after that high.

Appreciating your alone time is essential. You have to love being with yourself, before anybody can love being with you.  I can’t tell you how many people I know, in relationships, that reflect on all the things they wish they had done when they were single. It’s also a space for you to spend time doing things you love, without worrying about anyone else’s input. It’s about becoming the most comfortable you can possibly be with who you are. Really, it’s a gift, that few indulge in out of fear. Challenge yo’self!

I’ve decided to start a monthly single challenge, in hopes of inspiring my other single readers and homies to put ourselves out there more. Then I’m gonna blog about it, maybe some Periscope vids, something like that. I call it #SoloVibes. You guys can feel free to suggest places I should visit, and we’ll try this experiment together. Sound good? Great. Tune in next month for the first installment, I’m sure I’ll have plenty of stories for you.

Until next time folks!!


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