I’ve been having a lot of talks about options. More specifically, the plethora of options that are abundant for the single masses. I just gotta get on my soapbox for a hot minute.

The problem with single people, that there is an assumption that there are SO many options for mates, and that you should always keep your options open.

It’s fine if you just want to date and have fun. However, if you actually want to build with someone, get married, and have kids, your thought process has to change. When you meet someone who fits your ideal mate, wants the same things you want, consider taking that chance. Do Not assume that if you get serious, you may miss out on someone else. Who told you that?! Who told you that there were a couple people out there for you? That’s an arrogant thought if you think about it, considering that there are people who never get married or never meet their soulmate. It is a gift from the universe to meet another person to complete you. It’s not a guarantee. Also, I just thought of this. Who said that all of the options are good? Do you have one amazing option, or several mediocre ones?

Just like when you’re in a happy relationship, and you both agree to go your separate ways for now, to ‘see what’s out there.’ Tell me, what’s out there? In this day and age, no one wants to say exactly how they feel, or continuously just wants to play games. It is refreshing to find someone who is comfortable saying ‘ I want to be in a relationship. I want to connect with someone, to feel something. ‘ Our generation gets so caught up on Tinder matches and IG likes, as if that shit is real. It’s not.

I operate on the assumption, that there is possibly two people on this Earth for everyone. If you’re fortunate. It is my hope that there is at least one person for everyone. But there is always a chance that you won’t ever meet them. Or even worse, that you’ve already met them and blew it.  Don’t assume that there’s’ someone else out there for you. There is always a chance that there is not.

You don’t need to pay attention to just anyone who gives you attention. Not everyone is worthy of your time. None of us know how long we got on the planet. I for one don’t want to waste any more time ‘surveying my options.’ I want to spend my time with the one that matters.

Casual relationships are bullshit. We’re too old. I’m not willing to risk my health because you ‘don’t want anything serious.’ Everyone is so scared to be serious with someone. ‘There’s no time, I’m busy with school, I’m busy with work.’ Blah blah, how long are we gonna keep using those excuses?

Sometimes you don’t realize your blocking your own blessings by trying to sample everything on the menu. Go with the option that is the best and will satisfy you always.

Think about when you job hunt. You don’t start looking for a job once you get fired. You survey other options while still maintaining your 9-5 until you’re ready to make a decision.

Sometimes, people do the same in relationships. Search for something else and expect that person to be there when you are through trying things out with other people. Or keep old boos as an option as a backup. Sometimes, having too many ‘options’ can cause you to blow a good thing. Focus on the one that is the best and healthiest for you, because not all options are good.

You need to stop:

Overlooking the good guy because he’s not tall enough or fly enough. 

Ignoring the stable guy and instead, trying to  spend time with the inconsistent unavailable guy 

Settling for sex with multiple people instead of making love to the one that loves you back .

…..all because you’re ‘single with options.’

Chew on that. I’m out.