New month, new shit. Welcome to June people! It’s been a little bit since my last post, but I’ve been cooking up some good stuff. Prepare thyself!
Starting this month, I will be doing a new couples feature, entitled, ‘Love and Marriage.’ This feature will showcase couples of all shapes and sizes, discussing things they’ve learned and sharing their love stories with us. Exciting right?! So here. we. go.
The first couple I’m featuring this month comes from Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. Tina is a social worker, currently working with female offenders. Danny is a special education teacher.
Why do I think they are awesome??
1. They are both do-gooders. I have a soft spot for those kinds of people.
2. They come across as unconventional. Tina shared that they do not wear wedding rings, and they don’t want kids. I think that’s dope.
3. They thrive on open communication and complete transparency in their relationship, which I find to be very refreshing.
Here are some tidbits from my interview with Tiina, on her love story.
When did you meet/where?
We met in undergraduate but didn’t start dating till about 4(?) years after we first met. We were never close in school but we both knew each other. After graduation we continued to still pop up in the same circles and eventually started dating. I wouldn’t say we were friends beforehand, just that we “knew of” each other. I think it makes the transition easier to not get too invested in a friendship before it turns romantic. I think people should strike while the iron is hot. If you like someone just tell them!
The most important thing you’ve learned thus far in your relationship? Or one important thing?
Christ. I’m gonna go with: if it’s not easy it’s not worth it. Life gets hard. But if the easy stuff, the calling each other back, having good communication, the knowing they love you stuff is hard then it’s too hard. The foundation has to be strong to weather the ups and downs. So yeah, if the early part is hard your probably fighting an uphill battle. One day your mother in law is going to be dying and need to move in the house, or your child is going to have cancer, or both of you will be out of work. If the easy stuff isn’t easy the hard stuff will be impossible. Be prepared to move on if the easy stuff is hard. It’s not worth it to fight.
One piece of advice for others on fostering a healthy partnership?
Do it your own way. We’ve split every check since our first date. This is important to both of us. Don’t let other people tell you what your relationship should look like or what you should do. Do you. As long as the other person is open and honest about their needs and you can be about yours- do what you guys need/want. Don’t listen to the rules. Listen to yourself and your partner.
We thank Tiina and her hubby for sharing a snapshot of their love story. Know of any awesome couples who should be featured on anopensecret?! Leave a comment! Let ya girl know!