Be Better, Not Bitter.

Girls are a little crazy. Now before you get offended, remember two things. 1) I am a girl. 2) At some point in time, you as a female have had irrational, unreasonable thoughts and expectations of the opposite sex, myself included. Lately, I’ve been taking time to reflect, and I’ve come up with a few gems.

Stop trying to claim something that never belonged to you in the first place. You are hurting yourself, you are better than that. What do I mean by that? Let’s think. Once a girl decides she actually likes a boy, in some small, tiny irrational part of you that has laid claim over them. The more time you spend with him, the bigger that piece grows. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t actually yours. You have dedicated countless hours of consistent texting. You have already planned future dates with your boo, imagined spending the next few holidays together. You have invested months of months of ‘talking’ so he now belongs to you. In your mind….because that makes sense.

Stop it crazy! Stop it right now.

Let me explain why this is ridiculous. First of all, you don’t ‘own’ anyone. A mate is not a thing, an item to possess. Stop treating him as such. Two, if you are not in a committed relationship, the person you are in a situationship with or are having relations with does not owe you anything. You do not owe them anything. I see too many females having some strange, false sense of loyalty to Negros who aren’t thinking about you when they’re pounding the next puss. Do what you wanna do, see who you wanna see, like who you wanna like. Until the conversation is had, pertaining to the future of your twosome, live your damn life. Three, stop getting upset over someone who is not getting upset over you. Listen, if a guy doesn’t call you back, who gives a shit? It is not a reflection of you, it doesn’t mean that you’re worthless, unattractive, or uninteresting. Sometimes, guys don’t call you back. Don’t lose sleep over it. If a guy doesn’t see you again after the first date, that’s his loss. Don’t start flying off the handle, generalizing the opposite sex, and becoming all kinds of cynical. Be better, not bitter. Nothing I dislike more than women who have allowed themselves to be so jaded by their experiences, that they have become unpleasant to be around, let alone date.  My point is, stop getting mad about every little thing. You have one life to live. Do whatever the hell you want. Date a lot. Kiss guys. Have sex, and don’t apologize for it. Talk to multiple guys at once, text ‘him’ just because you’re bored. Until you have met your soulmate, you have a responsibility to enjoy yourself. As women, sometimes we spend so much time thinking about how everything’s ‘supposed’ to go, or how relationships are ‘supposed’ to be. Stop imagining your love life, and start living your life. You’ll be surprised how satisfied you are, whether you are single or in a relationship. It’s about you, doing what’s good for you. This is may be the only time in your life where you can do this with no real consequences. As long as you’re being safe and responsible, don’t be afraid to be a little spontaneous.

I have to admit, now that I’m officially over my situationship, I feel pretty good. I’ve fallen back in love with being single and loving my social life. I think it’s the best place to be when you’re unattached. I think girls, especially during this time of year, focus so much on the fact that they are alone, and less on all of the great things about being unattached. It’s fun to stay out late, and not have to answer to anybody. It’s great to not feel crazy/out of control because so and so didn’t return your text. It’s fucking fantastic, to not be crying or sad over someone. Not to mention that the holidays are coming up, and niggas is broke, forreal! No gifts to buy! Cheers to that guys!

Embrace where you’re at, eat a spoonful of enthusiasm, and add a sprinkle of faith. Stop being such sourpusses when it comes to love. Roll with it, and you’ll definitely go far.

Be Well.

 

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