“And maybe that was love. Being so vulnerable and allowing someone else in so far they could hurt you, but they also give you everything.”
― Christine Feehan, Water Bound
I think on some level, our idea of falling in love is still this fairy tale bullshit we grew up seeing on Disney movies and rom-coms. We imagine that once we acknowledge our feelings, that everything is simple now. It all makes sense, it all is out on the table, we’re going to be together and live happily ever after. For some, this is true. But I think that when single people see happy couples, they assume that it just happened that simply. Like either parties involved didn’t go through some sort of emotional turmoil or heartache before they finally met ‘the one.’ I think that’s a mistake. All of us have cried over the one we’re not supposed to have, whether it was the girl that sat across from you in chem class, or the childhood best friend that you always felt a spark with. Sometimes the one you want is not necessarily the one you’re meant for. We waste a lot of time pining over the wrong one, which is natural and human. We all want to be loved, experience love, and fall in love. But falling in love is not rainbows and candy. It kinda feels like….getting the wind knocked out of you. You kinda feel..like you can’t breathe, and there may be some tears. the world looks different, and all of a sudden you’re in this miniature snowglobe and it’s just you and that other person. Suddenly nothing else matters.Your mind is clouded by images of this person. Their smile, their laugh, the way they smell.Everything reminds you of them, even stupid things like a song or sign in a window. It is strange, to be so overcome with such feeling. Like, how could anyone feel that much, and not spontaneously combust? It is a lot of things…painful, exciting, miserable….amazing. At least that’s how I look at it. However, I feel like everyone has different feelings about falling in love or being in love.
I say all of this because, when you’ve been solo for a long period of time, you assume that all of the ‘happy’ couples around you found love so easily. As if the act of falling in love in itself….is easy. In reality, it’s not. It takes a certain amount of vulnerability, a certain amount of bravery…to let yourself fall. Allowing your emotions to be completely unhindered, and uncontrollable. That is hard for most people. It was hard for me..the first time I fell in love, it was like a slap in the mouth. It knocked me out, and was so completely unexpected and uncomfortable. I didn’t know how to deal, and was not ready to deal. As much as you may want to be with someone, you have to be able to let yourself be that exposed. It’s easy to meet someone new, it’s a whole different story when it comes to letting someone in…on the off chance that they touch your heart. Before you ask for that special someone, make sure you’re ready for everything love entails…the good, the bad, the ugly.
You never know what love can do….’til it happens to you.’
Just my thoughts….