Hurricane Sandy is ripping the east coast like a mother fucker so I figured that since I’m essentially stuck in my apartment, it’s a good time to catch up on my blog.
How are you guys holding up?
So what I’ve been thinking about lately…well, are a lot of things. Specifically about relationships that fall apart and don’t work. what do u do when in spite of everything, it falls apart?
I was talking to my co-worker a week ago, about her current 5-year relationship. Basically, the ‘spark’ has gone out of their relationship and she feels that they are at a crossroads in their relationship. They barely see each other because of their erratice work schedules. The sex is less frequent. She’s not sure if they should move forward and get married, since they barely spend time together as it is. However, she said she couldn’t imagine breaking up and starting over. It made me really think. People always have their reasoning about why relationships fail. But in her case, it’s not really her fault. It’s just life.
It makes me wonder about people who divorce. I guess it’s easy to blame it on a number of things, but what if it really just didn’t work out?
What does that say about those of us trying to start new relationships, or struggling to maintain the ones we have? Notice that every person in a relationship believes they have sure fire solution as to how to keep a relationship going. It’s actually hilarious. ‘Wait 2-3 months before giving it up. Wait at least a month. Wait a year. ‘ you should definitely not live together before you’re married. ‘ You definitely should live together before marriage.’ I hear these things from various friends and acquaintances and my feelings are still the same. These ‘rules’ are not real to me. No one can predict if a relationship will succeed or not. Just because you have a certain standard that works for you does not mean it applies to everyone. All of us are different, and all of us function differently in relationships and have different needs/expectations.I know plenty of ‘successful’ couples that are completely and totally dysfunctional.Reason #2345 why none of us really know shit about relationships, we’re all learning as we go.
In my opinion, we can’t really spend so much time over analyzing everything. In the end, none of us really know what’s going to happen in our relationship. As secure as you may feel, you cannot predict the future. The only thing we can really do, is live in the moment, and hope for the best. The future of our relationships are not in our hands; if it’s meant to be it will be.
Call it a new attitude. But I’d say the only I’ve never tried is living in the moment. I’ll let you know how it pans out.
