Love & Hip Hop: Chopped and Screwed

First let me apologize to those who actually still read my ramblings. it has been quite a tumultuous few weeks, and I have neglected to regale you with my thoughts on dating and relationships as of late. but i’m back like i never left YA HEARD MEH?! anyways…

i want to talk about this reality phenomenon that is sweeping across our televisions nationwide. I don’t care if you’ve read about it on other blogs, heard your friends talking about it, or admittedly watch it yourself. you’ve heard about love and hip hop atlanta.

now i must admit, that i am a reality show junkie. i enjoy a little ratchedness every now and then. sue me. but what i found most interesting is the response both men and women have had to the show. trust me, men watch this too and will be quick to side with their gender. but this show holds a lot of implications for minority men and women, and our generation’s view on marriage.

i shall dissect the most prominent characters one by one. let’s start with mimi.

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now mimi to me is honestly a hard character to watch. she’s with this guy stevie j for 14 some odd years. She has his child. And although he has not ONE but FOUR other baby moms, she still is trying to be with him. This befuddles me. What exactly are you trying to WORK on? I see several issues here. One, he clearly has a problem practicing safe sex. So you’re health is not a priority to him. Two, he has a huge problem with monogamy. So, being faithful is not a priority to him. Three, he blatantly lies and disrespects you TO YOUR FACE. So respecting and valuing you as is not a priority. Do we have time to work on all of these things? Why would you want to? Love just isn’t blind in her case, love has cataracts.

My problem with Mimi, is as a woman, you have allowed yourself to be so disrespected and devalued by a man you have fallen for. You have sacrificed yourself as a women to just be a pawn in his game. You have settled for the worst possible mate, the worst possible example of how a man should treat a woman for your daughter. You have taken the biggest emotional L by getting so wrapped up you can’t even see how destructive and unhealthy your relationship is.

This to me is a problem. There are too many “Mimi’s” in the world. She’s not a character, she is your cousin, friend, sister, or even mother. Since when is it okay to just be the baby mom? Since when was it unheard of to be a wife first? Mimi is everything that is wrong with our generation. The concept of monogamy has been so lost among both men and women our age, and it’s honestly sad.

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Then there’s Erica. Now Erica is in a bad place. She’s hardened her heart to the point where even if she tried to move on from Scrappy, who is trying to mess with her? She stays looking stank! She fools the audience by pretending that she’s over Scrappy. She’s not. Even though he continues to play the shit out of her. As females we fall hard. There’s no rhyme or reason, and it’s difficult to move on, when you feel so much for one person. BUT in reality, Scrappy doesn’t know what he wants, and Erica will end up getting hurt in the long run.

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Then there’s K. Michelle. I honestly fuck with her so much. I think she’s the least ratchet of all the main characters. However, her story is a heartbreaking one as well. Domestic violence is not a joke, and the fact that she is so clearly affected by it still is sad to me. I read a lot of people’s tweets, and it saddened me that people were so quick to call her a liar.Just because she chose to make her story public doesn’t mean it isn’t true. If you know any DV survivors, you know it takes them years to move forward. I applaud her for sharing that pain with the public.

Speaking of reality shows, I have to say something about the Evelyn Lozada and Ochocinco situation. Regardless of whether she hit him or vice versa, people are missing the point. Somewhere along the lines, they were taught that dealing with conflict this way, was acceptable. Just like Joseline punching Steebie in the face. These are learned behaviors people! These ‘celebrities’ (i use that term loosely) were regular people once. Somewhere along the way, they were taught that these were acceptable behaviors. We can’t fault them for that. Maybe they never had a good, healthy example of what a relationship is supposed to look like. I personally believe the one’s parents are the first examples of what a ‘normal’ relationship looks like. Without it, how would one really know? The biggest mistake they made is allowing the world into their relationship. Food for thought.

The point is, one can learn a lot from shows like Love & Hip Hop and Basketball Wives. Women are allowing themselves to be portrayed in a certain way, that reflects our generation, whether we like it or not. I think both men and women need to take heed, and examine what these shows are saying about how we view relationships, marriage, and the opposite sex.

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