I hate texting. Really, I do. So much so that I haven’t had it on my phone for a hot minute. Honestly, I understand the convenience, but I am much more of a phone person. Call me old-fashioned, I don’t care. I think texting is an excuse for people to not have real and honest conversations with each other. Sadly, I did succumb and put it back on my plan. And I am reminded of all the reasons why texting is annoying, especially when trying to engage with the opposite sex.

Now all of these rules can apply to both sexes. If you are guilty of any of these, your ass has probably been deleted out of someone’s phone and you didn’t even know it yet. Allow me to school you texting imbeciles:

1. Do not reply EVER with ‘k.’ That shit is the freaking Worst. It’s not even a word, and you’re disrespectful sending  one syllable.

2. Do not overuse the smiley. If you don’t smile that much in real life, every text should not end with one of these
:). And if you do smile this much in real life, something is probably wrong with you.

3.Do not text multiple times in the span of 5 minutes. Give me a damn minute to read the first freaking message, speedy Gonzalez! And don’t you dare send  paragraphs. If you had that much to say, you should’ve called. How you know if I got unlimited or not? ! Hmph.

4.DO NOT ignore a text that was meaningful. Because as a girl we are gonna be fucking PISSED. We’re gonna regret even sending the damn message, and then agonize for hours on why you didn’t reply. Don’t be a dick.

5. I understand that slang terminology is all the rage today, but you people really becoming ridiculous. ‘Nuffin’, ‘doe’, gnr, ctfu, ymcmb….the list goes on. Act like you learned to read at some point in your life. You can take time out to spell out ‘nothing.’ Jesus!

6. Don’t ask me to send you a picture. You have access to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. More than enough pics for you to creep on. Nudey pics are not what’s hot in the streets. Didn’t ya’ll see Cyberbully?! Sexting isn’t a game!

Sidenote: Penis pics? Not sexy. Calm down
.
7. Be consistent. Don’t text us once and then 5 months later, something ridiculous like ‘hey stranger.’ Did you die? Did you fall off the face of the Earth? Fuck outta here with that mess! Your ass has already been deleted out the phone!

8. Do not text ‘why didn’t you text me back?’ Chill the fuck out. You sound thirsty as hell, and maybe that person was busy, or was in the shower, or was curing cancer…..either way you need to relax your soul.

I say, texting should be used in moderation. Your entire relationship should not be based on this; that is not real. Speaking to someone face to face is real. With all the technology we have today, stop making excuses for why you can’t have a REAL conversation. You could really be missing out on some meaningful, thought provoking dialogue.