Monogamy & ‘The Emotional Timer’


You know what really grinds my gears? Girls who act like they don’t have feelings, or don’t ever want to be in a relationship. You know what I think? I think you’re a bunch of FRAUDS. If you have ever been in a relationship, you are the monogamous type. You believe in it, you practice it, plain and simple, even if you’re single right now. Stop lying to yourself. 90% of women want to be in a relationship, or at least have some sort of companion. It doesn’t matter how independent or strong a girl is, she wants to be loved. She wants to be taken care of, even though she knows she can take care of herself. And THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. It’ even acceptable to admit this out loud. “ Hi, my name is ____, and I want to be in LOVE. Now, was that so hard? Like pulling off a band-aid. My point is, wanting this doesn’t make you weak or soft, it makes you human. I’m not sure when it became taboo to have any kind of emotions. We as women have let ourselves get so scared of even feeling ANYTHING, that we avoid any potential feelings from even developing. That’s no way to live. I’m guilty of this myself.

The other night, I explained to my roommate the concept of the ‘emotional timer.’ This when you start seeing someone casually, and even if it is going well, there a little voice inside your head, that is telling you, ‘It’s not gonna work out, so don’t get excited.’ You convince yourself that he is only going to be around for a few days, weeks, or a month. It’s like you are waiting for it to end, because every other attempt at building something in the past, has failed. So much so that getting excited about any new potential is a task in itself.

But let me ask you something. Don’t you miss that ‘feeling?’ When you spend hours daydreaming about your new potential, or how jazzed you are when you get a text or a phone call from that special someone, or how excited and nervous you get when you know you’re about to see that person? You can’t tell me that’s not the freakin best. The problem with the ‘emotional timer’ is that you are so focused on it ending, that you don’t even enjoy being in it. Sometimes it’s just nice to ‘feel’ something again. You’re dooming your potential, and nothing’s even happened yet. No matter how hard you prep for rejection, it still hurts like a bitch. But rejection is part of life. Ya gotta kiss a bunch of toads before your prince decides he’s ready and shows up.

What I’m saying is don’t let your emotional timer ruin any chance of making it work with someone you like. It’s okay to be excited about a budding romance. It’s okay to want to be taken care of. It’s okay to want love. Sometimes, you gotta take a risk and turn the timer off. You’ll be amazed at how liberating it feels.

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