The Cynical B*tch: The Truth Behind the Stank Face

I have always been scared about getting on rollercoasters. You know you size it up…and you think..can I handle the drop? Am I gonna die (because of course everyone thinks they’re gonna die), or… I gonna love it?

It’s a metaphor for you dummies. Love is like the rollercoaster, when you really think about it. It’s scary and wonderful and it makes u kinda want to throw up but the ride is worth it. But getting on is the hardest part.

Getting on is hard, because the ride could be terrible, or heartbreaking. One may wonder if it’s even worth it. This prevents girls from even getting in line more often than not.

How hard is it to really let yourself fall in love? I’d say it’s gotten more and more difficult for us “cynical bitches.”  The Cynical Bitch is said to be the girl who always seems to be pissed off about the opposite sex, the one who has a lot to say about why relationships fail. The one who always looks at the glass half empty.  Our defenses are up so it’s hard to even approach us. Maybe you as a male assumed the ‘bitter bitch’ is just, well…..a bitch. She’s not. She’s just sad and frustrated and wants to be swept off of her feet. She is tired of the excuses, she’s tired of having to be independent all the time. Really, she just wants to be held.  The Cynical Bitch watches the rom coms, smiles when it’s a happy ending, cries when it’s a sad one. Either way she FEELS something, and in that moment, she admits it to herself.

BUT she can’t admit to her friends, or potential suitors because she’s a strong independent woman and she don’t need no motherfuckin man to take care of her! SHIT! This will always and forever be the downfall of  cynical single women. STOP with the bullshit. This tough act is nothing but a façade. You love LOVE, you love LOVE more than other bitches. And it’s OKAY. It means you’re not a decepticon.

Note to men: don’t judge a “cynical” girl. You don’t know her story, you don’t know what she’s been through, and if anything, she needs someone to really listen and be understanding. If you think she’s worth it, give it a shot. You could be surprised at what a softass she really is.

We as women need to open up again, because there are lots of potential roller coasters out there and if we’re too scared to even try…we’re going to end up alone at the amusement park of life.

2 thoughts on “The Cynical B*tch: The Truth Behind the Stank Face

  1. So as I am writing my paper – these various articles are talking about the social causation vs. social selection debate – I feel like this might apply here. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Is it that us closed off cynical bitches (I am including myself in that group) are acting in a certain way to attract people that will hurt us or just not attract anyone at all – which then reinforces our cynical outlook on love? OR is it that us cynical bitches were really hurt in the past and that since we weren’t properly shown love that this then triggers us to be more cynical and closed off in the future (versus individuals who have had mostly positive, loving relationships)?


  2. I agree, but I do feel that men are afraid to get on the ride with us. We wait in line for hours and then once it’s finally time to get on a lot of guys chicken out. I have no problem getting on the rollercoaster of love as long as I’m not on there by myself.


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