You’re sitting at the bar knocking a couple back with your girls, bitching about how n*ggas ain’t shit. All of you say the same thing: I just want a boy with a degree, a job, a car, no kids, etc. If he had that, he’d be the perfect man for me. Stop, whoa, bring it back, time out.
Now as college-educated 20-somethings, we expect our future boo to have certain things. For some reason this assumption automatically means that if he has a degree he is automatically right for you. Wrong, idiot.
I know plenty of college educated men that ain’t shit, and plenty of women that aren’t girlfriend material. Doesn’t matter that they have their degrees. For example, I know a guy that looks great on paper. Good job, good credit, college degree. But, he’s an asshole. Cocky, Womanizing, Disrespectful….basically a lame in a nice suit. But to unsuspecting single gals, he is a catch and a half. Let me explain to you why his credentials may not be enough for him to be hubby material.
Regardless of how much we as women don’t want to admit it, we put too much emphasis on if our future boo looks good on paper. We expect that if he is in the same place as us educationally, and financially, he’s probably got everything else together. 9 times out of 10 this isn’t the case. There are always mitigating factors in why it won’t work.
1- He doesn’t want a relationship
How many times have us single girls heard the same sad song?
“I mean, you mad cool and all, but I just don’t have time for a relationship right now.”
“ I’m really busy.” [the most ambiguous phrase in the WORLD.]
“I just got out of something serious, so I’m just chillin right now.”
Translation: I’m not trying to settle down with you right now. This doesn’t mean that he’s not going to settle down with someone. Because in essence, men will settle down when they are ready to. It may have nothing to with you at all, because it’s really all about timing. It’s almost like a game….if you catch him in the right month, in the right mindset, BAM! You got yourself a new boo. If not, better luck next time.
2. He’s an asshole.
Regardless of how much money he has, what car he drives, what profession he has….this doesn’t guarantee that he is the nicest guy in the world. Some men who are fiscally responsible and professionally sound can be arrogant or conceited. Don’t go into a situation assuming that he loves the first snowfall of winter, and listening to jazz and writing poetry. False. Assholes come in tailored suits as well, so don’t be fooled!
. 3. He has baggage
Now this is always hilarious to me. Guys always complain that we as women always have mad baggage, we’re ‘crazy’ and all that. But there are just as many emotionally unstable men in the world. And in my observation, a guy in some cases takes a breakup worse than a female. I know guys who are still crying about girlfriends that dumped them in HIGH SCHOOL. Get the f*ck over it, bro! That was 6 years ago! This is always a basis for why he feels that bitches ain’t shit. Cool story bro. The point is, beware of the man who looks ‘good on paper’ who’s actually crazy. Unless you are okay with being his therapist, be prepared for a lot of crying and emotional backlash from your main squeeze
Now this is not a man-bashing post. I love men, always have, always will. But I just notice that more and more of my fellow 20-something single women going about this all wrong. Either we’re dating the broke bum on the street who’s nice to us and wants to spend time, or we’re dating the well-put together douchebag, because he has his sh*t together. Don’t settle for one or the other, because both will end in heartbreak. Wait for the guy who has it all: degree (or job), manners, and treats you like the queen that you are. It’s not impossible, he’s out there. Till then, try and dodge all of these wolves in sheep’s clothing, aka the man who ‘looks good on paper.’