What’s your body count n*gga
                                                          I’m double digits
                                                                           What you talkin bout n*gga
                                                                                              It’s time to get it
                                                          Bad bitches in the house
                                                                                             They all exquisite
                                                                             Couple million in the couch
                                                           Right here where i’m sittin

For those of you who aren’t familiar with these brilliant lyrics, this is ‘body count’- meek millz ft. rick ross. I thought it was an appropriate segway into a topic that has come up more times than not in the past few months. I was having a conversation with my homegirl over drinks about body count. She was telling me about a conversation that occurred between her and her guy friend. Apparently, he believes that a girl with a low body count is ‘whack’. This legitimately annoyed the hell out of me, and I’ll tell you why. Girls are expected to be ‘experienced’ by a certain age. I would say that our body count is supposed to be below 10 to be acceptable. By your mid-twenties, you’re expected to have had some bodies under your belt, and be some kind sex kitten in the bedroom. I myself have felt this pressure, being a late bloomer and all that. BUT, the problem is, if you are ‘too experienced’ you’re a slut. Case in point, I had a homegirl who had crazy bodies as a freshmen. As you know, once you have a rep as a freshman it follows you like the plague until you graduate. This was the reason why I kept a low profile about my ‘indiscretions’ as an undergrad. The point is, I knew about this girl, before I even met her, and that’s always a bad sign. It very hard to get wifed up when your goodies have been sampled from every Tom, Dick, & Harry.

But NO ONE talks about how UNFAIR and UNREALISTIC this is. Think about it. In order to become a vixen in the bedroom, you would have to have slept with at least 5 guys. You learn what they like, they teach you a few things, and you incorporate into your routine. But what if you’re the kind of girl that is more selective? What if you’re afraid of STDs and don’t wanna just let any old penis penetrate you? So you’re not as experienced, and you don’t know too many tricks. All of a sudden you’re less desirable? THAT’S THAT BULLSHIT. 

God forbid you’re a *gasp* a ‘virgin’….it’s like you’re a social leper. I have been told by countless guys, that they don’t wanna mess with a virgin because she’s going to get ‘clingy’ and they will have to ‘teach her’ how to please them. So basically, the longer you’re a virgin, the more difficult it is to find a male that is okay with the fact that you have limited sexual prowess. Now explain to me how this makes sense. You meet a girl, you’re feelin her, maybe would even wife her, but then you either hesitate or change your mind because 1) she has too many bodies, she’s probably a slut or 2) she’s not a freak. This just in idiots: YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. You cannot expect a girl to cook and clean be a sex pistol AND be a wholesome untouched God-fearing woman. In fact, you should WANT her to have a low body count, because that means she is selective about whom she has sex with. Doesn’t that kind of girl sound appealing? I really do not think anyone considers how difficult it is to actually be a woman in 2012. Men are not criticized for their sexual indiscretions nearly as much as we are, and it’s honestly ridiculous. Like, what exactly is an acceptable body count for a man? Don’t worry I’ll wait…

I wanna say something to the women reading this. Most of us have had sexual encounters that we wish we could take back. I know I definitely do. And maybe you are one of the lucky ones who have no regrets and chalk it all up to being young, wild, and free. Whichever the case may be, no one has the right to judge you based on your sexual history. And no one can make you feel like a slut unless you allow them to. We all make choices, and every mistake is just a lesson learned.

With that being said, if you’re in a relationship and your partner wants to know how many bodies you have, it’s almost better to lie. If you tell the truth, it may backfire horribly. I have seen this firsthand. Ladies, wake up! Guys are always gonna feel some type of way about not having as many partners as their lady; it makes them feel like less of a man. As far as I’m concerned, the subject should not matter. You were in a different place in your life before you met your current partner, so past lovers shouldn’t be a factor in the relationship you currently have now. The problem is, it does come up. And hopefully you have a partner that is secure enough with their own sense of self that they can move past the skeletons in your closet.