Can you imagine dating honest? And by honest i mean ACTUALLY being completely 100% from jump. Being super transparent from the beginning, without being scared or ashamed of how you feel or what you want. Like…expressing what it is you want from the beginning, without worrying about the ‘rules’ or ‘timetables’ of dating. Our generation has made up so many rules on what we should do or say at any given time. All of the things we as women are not allowed to do because it’s ‘too soon’ or you don’t wanna come off (insert negative adjective here).’ Imagine if you really didn’t give a fuck about any of that, and were true to yourself.
I know what you’re thinking. That shit sounds absolutely bananas. You’re probably thinking about all the seemingly ‘successful’ couples who did it this way or that way, and all you gotta do is do the same to have that same level of happiness. Don’t sleep with him on the first date. Learn how to cook. Get your nails done, hair done, everything did. OR sleep with him. OR wait 90 days. DON’T bring up the ‘so’ question. Don’t expect to be wifed up before six months. Don’t say I love you first. Be cool, but not too cool, so he knows you’re still interested….don’t double text him…
Bull.Shit. Do you understand how stressful our generation has made dating? It’s lowkey not even fun, because you’re so busy keeping up with all the rules, consulting everyone for advice, instead of trusting yourself. WE as women don’t trust ourselves, we trust other people to make decisions for us, when in reality, we already know what we want to do.
We don’t know the power we possess, so we suppress. a lot. It’s like we’re holding our breaths, waiting for our flaws to be exposed. We are hoping that our special brand of crazy won’t scare him away. Because in our mind is: Commitment! Marriage! Babies! Happiness! Keep your eyes on the prize, don’t let him see what a weirdo you are! It’s. stressful. We are so consumed by WANTING to be liked. We never want to come off clingy, needy, crazy, etc. We have allowed our generation, our society, our male counterparts to shame us into thinking that how we feel or how we are is unacceptable. That’s not okay. It’s never been okay, and the sooner we as women realize that, the sooner we can date how we wanna date. The sooner we can love how we want to love. No holds barred, no rules, no bullshit. We can just LOVE.
You have to decide when to say ‘when.’ When you are tired of not being who you naturally are, and being enough for yourself. You have to decide to harness your own power, and to have a say in how a relationship will go. You are designing the relationship you wish to cultivate, but you have to make the choice to pick up the pen. You cannot allow your partner to dictate everything about the relationship from jump, and then complain when the foundation crumbles. Especially if the foundation is built on bullshit and lies.
Stop putting yourself in positions to have your time wasted. Stop lying to yourself, and just going along with whatever your potential mate tells you is happening. Own what you want, and be strong enough to be like…‘nah, i’m good.’ I want more than this, I deserve more than this, I’m not ashamed to say this on the first date, or the 60th date, because I’m always gonna feel like this. Live your truth.