Let’s talk about commitment phobes. They are running rampant in our generation, and you should know the signs, before getting yourself invested in someone who isn’t ready. Recently, a few of my associates/friends have been dealing with breakups. It makes me wonder, how committed are we really to making our relationships work?
Commitment-phobes do stuff like this:
1.Using terms like ‘exclusive’, or ‘talking’ because we’re in 3rd grade.
2. Not texting everyday, because then your love interest will think you’re very invested, even if you aren’t. Maybe every two-three days, once a week, whatever.
3.Don’t meet the friends, don’t celebrate/acknowledge holidays. Case in point, if Valentine’s Day comes up, don’t bring it up, just pretend it didn’t happen.
4. Admire supposedly ‘happy’ relationships, but sabotage your own chances at love
5. Focus on Tinder matches, and IG likes, because you need attention and validation from social media.
6. Date someone long enough until it gets weird, or they want to ‘talk about where this is going’, and stop texting as often, or go ghost completely (guys and girls do this)
7. Not practicing any type of closure with anyone you date, because they are always a ‘just in case’ option. I.E. being ‘friends’ with everyone you’ve ever dated, ‘leaving the door open.’
8. Harping on your issues instead of working through them. No one gives a damn about your ‘daddy issues or trust issues.’ Grow up, figure your shit out.
9.Being promiscuous when you’re approaching 30, because ‘ you don’t do relationships.’ Nope, not even close.
10.Prioritizing friend time, and neglecting ‘bae time.’
11. Self-sabotaging so that you don’t have to discuss your commitment issues.
12.Failing to acknowledge your own emotional shortcomings.
13. Lack of self-reflection on why your past relationships failed.
14.Having no close friends or family. at all.
15.Being flakey (can’t commit to shit, dental appointments, dinner plans, nothing.).
16. No phone calls. ever. ‘You hate the phone, texting is easier,’ blah blah shut up.
Our generation gives up too easy, because it’s hard.When shit gets tough, we run. We run to ‘fillers’, we run to ‘backups’ we run, instead of staying and weathering the storm. We run instead of acknowledging the problem and trying to see if it’s worth holding on. Because there’s always ‘someone else to date.’ Date for awhile, dip when it gets hard, repeat. Complain that there are no ‘good guys or girls out there.’ Bull. shit. There aren’t options,you suck at communication and problem solving. I’ll give you an example:
I used to hate math, specifically word problems. They require a lot of problem solving, and critical thinking. Nine times out of ten I get halfway through the problem, and I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m just trying to rush and finish it or give up and move on.
Bobby has to be at the airport at 9:45. He left his house twenty minutes to nine. Bobby was in traffic for 35 minutes, and stopped for a doughnut along the way. Did he make it on time?
……..but who really gave a fuck about Bobby’s ass though?
Briana has been dating Charlie for 3.5 months. They made it official on their 4 month anniversary. Recently, Charlie has been flaking on plans together, and stopped sending ‘good morning’ texts. Briana hasn’t seen Charlie in 3 weeks, and he texts her every other week. Are they still a couple?
Stop getting so caught up in your life, that you don’t see the big picture. Our generation is some overachieving ass mofos, but basic as hell when it comes to making a commitment in a relationship. Our parents met, decided to be together, and worked through shit. Real life monogamy. Our generation defines monogamy as ‘dating/sleeping’ with one person at a time. Weird as hell.
I think that everyone has to fight a little harder. Both sides gotta fight a little to make it work. A person will treat you like shit if you ALLOW them to. So, when things start going left, don’t just let shit fall to the way side. You better open up your mouth and say, ‘I don’t like this, and ill tell you why.’ If nothing changes, you already know where you stand, but it ends because you fought and lost, not because you gave up.