Love Resilience

          Oh wait, just wait
I love you like I’ve never felt the pain, just wait
I love you like I’ve never been afraid, just wait

I’ve been thinking a lot about what keeps me going, in terms of the dating game. I’m finally in a good place where I’m happy with my job/career, happy in my personal life, and feel balanced. I think I’m ready to date again.

It’s interesting that rom-coms, talk shows, and advice columns, all tell you the same thing when it comes to dating. That you have to ‘kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince,’ ‘it happens when you least expect it,’so on and so forth.

In reality, it’s true. Moreso now than ever, as we get older. Our lives become consumed with careers, trying to keep up with bills and friends and ‘adulting.‘ It gets trickier to make time to date. I think about how my weekly schedule looks, and I barely have time to sleep, let alone squeeze in meetups with potential boo. I think about my friends in long distance relationships, and managing to see each other once a months or once every three months. I think about my friends who have boyfriends or girlfriends in different BOROUGHS, and only see each other once or twice a week. Ya’ll we never thought it would be this hard. We really believed those Disney movies at one time, that you would meet your Prince or Princess, and that would be it. Happily ever after right?

As a woman, love resilience is something we innately do. I’ve talked on posts in the past that women will get hurt a hundred times, and still will want to experience being in love and experience being loved in return. It’s just in us, we’re really good at forcing ourselves to be optimistic. But no one wants to talk about how hard that is, because that’s ‘negative.’ Actually, it’s not. It’s real, and it’s constant work. All of the struggles we go through trying to find a good one, are preparing us for when we do meet the one meant for us.

I think of dating as training for a marathon. I use that because I currently am training for one, and shit is tough bruh! Some days, you have really good sessions. Maybe you ran your fastest mile time, and that boy you met the weekend before texted you. Maybe you lost three pounds since your last weigh-in, and potential bae asked you to get coffee. Or maybe, you had a shitty run, and your knee is starting to hurt. The boy you started to like all of a sudden stops texting you, and you’re back to square one. At times it may feel like the workout will never end, you’ll never get to the finish line. Try as you might, you keep meeting douchebags, and you’re getting tired.

Ladies, we were built for this. Women are strong in a lot of ways, from birthing life into this world, being incredible multi-taskers, and taking care of others. We’ve been built to withstand a lot emotionally; just look at our mothers. My mother has been through so much, and keeps a smile on her face always. She works full-time, takes care of my younger sister, works out 5 times a week, and cooks every single night. Regardless of what she’s going through, shit gets done.

Ladies, we’re training. We’re training hard, every frog we kiss, we grow from the experience, and we keep pushing. We push because we know HE is out there. And when he presents himself, we gotta be ready, because the work doesn’t stop. Just because you catch a man don’t mean it’s a guaranteed ‘happily ever after.’ You have to work to keep the relationship strong, healthy, and happy. You gotta be ready emotionally and mentally to withstand the storms that will inevitably come. Your ability to withstand pain, and come out stronger and wiser is a gift. Don’t think of this as a miserable, sad time, this single life. I think I appreciate it now more than I ever did. I know that I had to work on me, before I could even think about starting to date. Growing is beautiful thing. Embrace the growth, the pain, the suffering, the shin splints, the side stitches. The finish line is closer than you think.


‘The hardest thing about falling in love, is letting it happen. Stop doubting, stop listening to people who aren’t in your relationship, allow yourself to be happy; letting go and losing control.’– MK









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