Tinder Chronicles: What Happens When You Swipe Right

Oh hey guys! So the past few weeks I’ve been very busy doing research, reading books, watching videos, etc on all things romance. September was a busy month, as I decided to try Tinder again, both for myself and for this here blog.

For those of you who live under a rock, Tinder is a matchmaking mobile app, which connects with users’ Facebook profiles to provide pictures and ages for other users to view. Using GPS technology, users can set a specific radius, and they will have the option to match with anyone that is within that distance.

In other words, you swipe left or right, if you like a person’s 2-3 sentence profile and Facebook pics. Whether it’s someone to go on dates with, bone, or both, the options are endless.

Here are some interesting tidbits I garnered from Tinding:

1. Guys don’t take good selfies.

I know what you’re thinking. Guys shouldn’t be ‘good’ at selfies. That’s a girl thing. Wrong. For one, I know lots of guys whose selfie game is on point, and their Instagrams are proof of this. Secondly, you know when you look good in photos. Everybody’s got an angle, a smile preference, a side preference, whatever. Posting pics with only one eye showing, or ab photos are unacceptable, and will force me to scroll through multiple photos for a better look, or creep on IG to see if this what you actually look like.

My profile includes, but is not limited to: 1 or 2 selfies, a full body, and the crazy part about it is ALL OF THE PICTURES LOOK LIKE ME. Which leads me to my next point. All of my photos are within the last 6 months-year. Don’t put pics from your 10th grade formal when your skin was on point and you had a six pack. That’s false advertising bruh.

2. Going on a blind/first date is like a job interview-sell yourself

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am actually very shy upon first meeting anyone. And it had been quite a few months since I even tried to put myself out there. So Tinder is like practice before the game. Try out a few frogs, meet some people, have some good conversations. Or, don’t. But be an active player in dating life. Don’t complain about cuffing nobody all winter long, when you won’t even get off the practice bench.

What I learned after going on several dates, is that I’m actually good at dating. I make good conversation, I’m funny, I have interesting stories to share, and can actually dress for the occasion.

This isn’t about a lack of self-confidence. Sometimes, we get a little rusty, and out of practice mingling with the opposite sex. All of us are guilty of getting lazy, and falling into dating ruts. It’s necessary and healthy to get back out there and remind the world how fucking foxy you really are.

3. Sex is easy and accessible, if you want it.

Like, I didn’t believe. Rando strangers asking you to sit on their face, after the first, ‘hello.’ Bish whet?! Like of course, I know that in talking with both sexes, guys always say girls can get it whenever they want it. However, when you get messages like:

tinder weird question…but not a deal breaker…yet…

tinder2 but…..can we get coffee first? Can we see if things click organically? Obviously this assclown is a fail from the beginning. But even if you just wanna play mattress mambo, you have to put in  A LITTLE work, other than ‘hey, let’s fuck.’ That may work for SOME girls, but not every match dude.

4. Nice guys do exist on Tinder.

I have been on some poppin dates with different men. From engineers, to accountants, to writers, and all of them have been gentlemen.  All were interesting, funny, and respectful. It’s easy to be deterred by the creepy messages you may or may not get in your inbox, as the one I shared. However, if you can don’t take Tinder too seriously, and are open to meeting new and interesting people, it can be a fun dating experience. Either way, it makes for great material over drinks with your homies or a blog post.

The point? Don’t be so narrow-minded about trying out dating apps. Sometimes, it’s better than listening to your roomie knock boots while you peruse the new release section of Netflix. Sometimes, life may surprise you with someone you didn’t even know you wanted. Swipe right one time.

Be well.



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