The Real Deal on Sex Appeal.

‘Love is a journey from the first blush of physical attraction to a marriage of souls. ‘– V. Henley

sex appeal


Happy September people! What a crazy summer it’s been, and it’s crazy how fast it’s winding down. But no use crying over it, onward and upward!

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about sex appeal. Thinking about the first time I met any of my previous lovers, and what it was that attracted me to them. I’m a sucker for really good teeth, nice lips, and height. Sometimes it was just magnetic, the way our bodies fit together, or looked together.  It sounds vain, but after my last encounter with the opposite sex, I’m convinced that sex appeal/physical attraction is important, at least to me. Along with personality and natural chemistry, physical attraction plays a factor in terms of a lasting, fulfilling relationship.

I did, however, pose this question to both guys and girls in my circle. Here are some anecdotes:

‘I think guys can grow on you, if you aren’t immediately attracted to them physically. Personality can make you more attractive (or uglier). But it’s definitely important. You have to want your partner physically to be sexually attracted.’

‘I just feel like a relationship where you aren’t attracted to your partner will get old quick. ‘

‘It’s not that important. I’m attracted to a good time outside of the bedroom. That stimulates me more than a physical attraction. ‘

‘It’s crucial to me. We can have the best convo but if nothing tingles down under…this is pointless.’

‘Honestly I would want my girl to be physically attractive.. Someone I could just stare at when we ain’t got nothing to talk about lol.’

‘It permeates so many other important things in the relationship. Sex. Desire. What your kids will look like. The person doesn’t have to be ‘universally socially attractive’ but they have to be attractive to you. Otherwise you’re going to be stuck imagining Idris Elba thrusting his hips over you instead of the slightly sorta okay person who is hovering over you.’

Now let me tell you this story about this guy I was seeing for like 5 minutes. We’ll call him ‘SM’, in case he ever reads this. Here goes:

Now we had gone on a few dates. I had my reservations about him, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. He was a gentleman, super ambitious, smart, funny. Great on paper. But there was something missing. It didn’t become immediately clear until our last date.

So everything is going great. He comes over, we watch movies, we drink we talk. Everything’s cool. Of course, we start fooling around, and then something terrible happens. We’re kissing and in my head i’m like….no. I feel nothing. Not desire, not anything. It’s just…..fine. Not bad, not amazing, just okay. Then he goes to take his shirt off…..and I immediately dry up. I am not aroused. I am completely turned off by his body. That’s when I knew that he would most certainly would be the homie and not the lover.

Now everyone has their preference in terms of what makes the opposite sex attractive. I’m a very active person. I’m not Buffy the body but trust me a trick works out. It’s not about having a six pack it’s about taking care of the only body you’ll ever have. If I feel like you don’t take care of your body or value your physical health, you can’t sit with me. Point Blank Period.

Moral of the story: Sexual Attraction is important. No matter if your love interest has everything else going for them, if you don’t want to jump their bones on sight, if you don’t daydream about touching them, it’s not gonna last, in my opinion.

I’ll tell you guys why I call him ‘SM‘ if you repost/share/retweet this post. Kthanksbye.

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