It’s the beginning of a new month. Which means, new posts with new couples on this here feature. This month we’re starting off with one of the dopest couples I know, Courtney and Tyrell.

A little background, before I regale you with one of my favorite interviews to date, let me tell you why I chose this couple.

1. They are fucking smart. I’m not being biased because they’re friends with me (maybe a tad). They talk and think about other things besides what’s going on in their own world. Like politics, education, poverty, shit that is bigger than us. That’s refreshing, and definitely makes for scintillating conversation between the two as well as with others.

2. They don’t follow ‘society’s rules on dating.’ If you’ve read this blog enough you know that I don’t believe in dating rules. I think that’s society telling you how to live your life, date, get in a relationship, etc. They stay true to themselves and that’s dope.

3. They just recently got engaged! My first friends to take the big plunge into marriage. Huzzah!

So here it is! Read on kids!

What is your occupation/ your partner’s occupation?
Courtney: Criminal Law Attorney/ Tyrell: Director of Sports Performance at a Physical Therapy Clinic

When did you meet/where?

Tyrell and I met at Penn State University in August 2004. Our dorm buildings were directly across from each other and we made eye contact while both on the way to Pollock dining commons – it was a defining moment that we both remember vividly, which says a lot coming from the both of us as neither of us is a “romantic.” As we ascended through college, both of us were in other relationships, and the extent of our interactions were friendly “hellos” whenever we happened to see eachother around campus. It was not until 2008, at the Barack Obama Rally at Penn State that Tyrell asked me for my number. Although we had eachother’s numbers, neither of us really used them. After graduation, he went off to pursue his dreams, and I was in the Bronx “teaching for America” so the only words exchanged were those of encouragement and support as they related to our endeavors. Two years later in 2010, we hung out for the first time ever at
Penn State’s Arts fest – and the rest was history.

How long have you been together?

Oooooh chile, I am sure inquiring Penn Staters want to know. Tyrell and I started officially “dating” (whatever that means) in 2011 towards the end of my first year in law school – so over three years. The beginning of our relationship was long distance, which worked out really well with my schedule and commitment to law school. We are now both living together in Pennsylvania.

The most important thing you’ve learned thus far in your relationship? Or one important thing?

I have learned a slew of really meaningful things through building a partnership with Tyrell. One notable takeaway has been that partners should refrain from allowing societal expectations to serve as the blueprint for their relationship. When Tyrell and I first began “talking” a vast majority of it was via text. Not because either of us “were just not that into each other” but because we had really important things going on in our lives after college graduation. Tyrell and I were in a long distance relationship for two years – the world did not fall apart, he was not partying in hot tubs with women on the weekends, I was not prancing through New York City’s streets looking for a paramour. Tyrell and I are unwed and live together (gasp) – but it works so well for us, and it is by far one of the best decisions I have ever made. I mean it sounds corny but it’s like having a slumber party every night with your best friend.

All of the aforementioned examples are just a few of the things I have heard horror stories about and are generally frowned upon by celebrities in dating books and writers on blogs and in magazines alike. Whatever. There is no one size fits all recipe for a healthy and loving relationship. You make your own rules, you set your own parameters, you define how you want your love to manifest itself -period. Your relationship is not going to be perfectly embodied in some cheesy meme you come across on instragram – or a quote that gets a million likes on Facebook. Rip up the societal blueprint. If you want to run away and elope, do it – if it ends up being a mistake, hey it’s yours, who cares.