Tunnel Vision: Moving On From the Wrong One

Now that I know the truth, what am I supposed to do?
Changing up and breaking all my rules ever since we met
I’m so gone, I’m so gone, I’m so gone
Just like a movie shoot, I’m zooming in on you
Everything is extra, and the background just fades into the set
As we ride off into the sun

It might seem like I’m catching something. That’s because it’s true
I can’t deny it, and I won’t try it but I think that you know
I look around and everything I see is beautiful ’cause all I see is you
And I can’t deny it and I stand by it, and I won’t hide it anymore

Sometimes you fall in love with the wrong one. It starts out with a spark, a feeling in the air, a first look. Something tells you that this is different. THEY are different, and something is about to happen. It starts off amazing. You are borderline obsessed with this person, you’ve already told all your friends about it, they are all you can think about it. You never thought you could be this into anyone, you’re so happy you could cry. You want to shout to the rooftops, ‘IT’S REAL YA’LL!’ Post mad pics on Instagram on Facebook of you and the boo, because everyone needs to know that you are TAKEN! That’s right! Nothing can bring you down from this cloud you’re floating on.

There are of course, signs, that everything is not all that it seems. Maybe they are kind of an asshole to your friends, but in a ‘funny’ way. Maybe they are really messy, but it’s so cute, watching them try to find things in the clutter. Maybe they never say I love you, but it’s cool, because you KNOW they do, they just don’t say it… Before you know you have fallen head over heels for the person you were not supposed to end up with. Let me tell you what it feels like when you realized you’re in love with the wrong person. It kinda feels like…someone has slapped you very hard in the face. Kind of like your heart is plummeting through your chest into your feet, and your head hurts. You can’t decide whether to stay or run. Sometimes you’re so mad at them, and other moments you’re crying because you can’t imagine being without them. Either way, you’re royally screwed, because the logical part of your brain is telling you ‘idiot, GET OUT. THIS IS NO GOOD.’ Your stupid heart is whispering, but….you love them. That’s enough, right?


Just because you love someone, does not mean you should be with them. There really may be glaring signs, upon your journey, that indicate that they are not for you. Maybe you want kids, and they don’t. Maybe you are extremely ambitious and motivated, and they are just dreamers with no drive. Maybe you fell in love with them before they were ready to love again.You feel a lot of emotions at once: stupid, heartbroken, angry, resigned.

At this point, you’re probably wondering, how do I move forward? How can I possibly move on when I feel so much for this person? I’m not saying the one you love is a horrible human being. They probably have great qualities, and are generally good people,maybe. They just are not great or good for you. Now, what? All I can really suggest is time, and honest reflection. It’s easy to have the less complicated conversations, like ‘where are we eating dinner?’ or ‘should I wear this skirt tonight?’ It’s harder to have the ‘where is this going, I’m not sure this is working? Or ‘ I think we should see other people’ conversation. Again, all of these conversations are a part of the process. It’s not an easy thing to admit out loud, that shit is going awry. However, you owe it to yourself, to be the happiest, best version of yourself with whomever you are with. If that’s not happening, or is not going to happen, time to re-evaluate. You’re both supposed to grow in love, together. If that’s not happening, take it as a lesson learned. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have to do all these things when taking a risk. There is no surefire plan, no other way to avoid the inevitable pleasantries and pitfalls of falling in love. It’s going to fucking suck sometimes. It is going to be draining, frustrating, horrible, amazing, wonderful, incredible. At the same damn time. I don’t regret falling in love, because I realized I was capable of letting myself fall. It was scary as shit, and I’d do it again, but with someone who can give me the same that I give. The important thing is to remember to not make the same mistake twice. The signs and warnings are there for a reason.. pay attention. Don’t let the cutesy bullshit that you fall for, be the things that you end up hating about that person. Recognize your own patterns of behavior. Are you falling for the same type? Do you have tunnel vision when it comes to members of the opposite sex? Are their flaws ones that you can live with? Can they live with your shortcomings?

Wake the fuck up. Falling in love, and staying in love are two separate things. No one wants to talk about how hard it is so sustain that high. It’s fucking hard. There will be times when shit will be dry, and the spark will be a little dim. You have to put in work to keep the fire blazing, it’s a two part kinda deal, ya dig? Be ready to do both if you want it to work.

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