Men Love Harder Than Us.

I’m about to ruin this movie for you, so if you haven’t seen ‘The Great Gatsby,’ sorry. I just went to see it tonight, and had the best convo with my guy friend about it. First of all, the basic storyline is that Gatsby goes above and beyond for the girl of his dreams, and she basically shits all over him. Really. Like, he literally did everything to prove his love for her, and it wasn’t enough. I mean telling the girl of your dreams, you can’t be with her right now, because you’re poor and need to get your shit together. Building a house across from hers, and throwing ridiculous parties, hoping you’ll show up. Essentially building and planning your future around the two of you together. What the hell else could he really do to say, ‘I wanna be with you girl!’ This got me thinking.

It got me thinking about the good guys. Because no matter what I write on this, I still believe that good guys do exist. Daisy, Gatsby’s love interest, would rather be with a man who is financially secure, but cheats on her, than be with the one that loves her unconditionally. Daisy has definitely been all of us females at least once. We have disregarded the lame who has been persistent time and time again, for the asshole who seemingly has it together. We forget that just because a guy looks good on paper, doesn’t mean emotionally he is all there. From my experience, the ones who appeared ‘a mess’ treated me far better than the guy with nine degrees and a job.

I’m always trolling the internet for inspiration, and I stumbled upon this blog called ‘The Good Men Project.’ The writer had a post about how he knew it was in love. It is truly inspiring/heartwarming, and makes me smile. I remember talking to my best guy friends about when they first fell in love, and there is something really special about a man when he talks about the girl he loves. But I digress. Here’s a few snippets:

4. She felt like an accident because she wasn’t my type. And just like an accident, it was an unexpected and life-changing event in my life.

5. I daydreamed about kissing her more than sleeping with her whenever we were apart.[if this doesn’t get you, you truly have no soul!]

6. I knew I was in love the day I broke her heart the first time round. You always hurt the ones you love.

11. I made it a personal mission to count all of her beauty marks on her face and her body. She has sixteen altogether. Five on her face, two on her neck, one on each shoulder, two below her breasts, one on her stomach, one on her foot and three on her arm that look like a constellation.

12. I feel the same passion about her as I feel about the debate over the differences between R&B and Soul music. It’s like saying you love somebody and being in love with somebody. R&B is just a word.

Now I’m not saying wife up any cornball who shows you attention. I’m just saying that, before this movie, I never realized how hard a male loves. They love….with everything they have inside of them. To the point where it literally rips them apart. The way that Gatsby looked at Daisy… man. That’s how I want someone to look at me, in all seriousness. Guys don’t move on from heartbreak the way girls do. Most females I know, have fallen in love, fallen out of love, and despite being hurt, are always ready to try again at some point. However, guys never forget their first love. My guy friend told me he still is in love with his first, and always will be. That’s crazy to me. Sometimes, they never get over it, EVER. That is something that we as females, need to keep in mind. If we meet a good one, don’t treat his heart like monkey meat. You have no idea how hard it is for him, to really let himself fall and be vulnerable. Don’t be a Daisy, be good to your Gatsby. You may not get another chance with him.

Every man falls in love in a different way, but what I can definitely say is that when men fall, they fall hard. When I first fell in love, I made plenty of mistakes; I tried denying the fact that I was at the finish line when it came to future relationships. However, it took me five years to realize that when you are truly in love with someone and are willing to go the distance with them, then you embark on another race—a far more fulfilling race than you could ever dream of.

– The Good Men Project


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