There are good single people and bad single people. It may sound ridiculous, but trust me, it’s not. As we grow older, we begin to formulate and create the image of what our perfect mate should be like. maybe it’s based on dreams we’ve had, or movies we’ve seen, or songs we’ve heard. maybe it’s a fantasy cultivated by our upbringing. Whatever the case may be, we have an idea about what we want. But of course, just because you know exactly what you want, doesn’t mean that you don’t go through a plethora of wrong ones first. We’ve all kissed a few frogs before we’ve found our prince or princess. In fact, we still may be locking lips with all the wrong toads. The thing, there are rules to being single, and learning to live the single life takes a certain finesse. Here’s how you know you’re doing it wrong.
1. You blame all of your relationship issues on the counterpart.
First of all, you’re not perfect. In case no one ever told you that. If a relationship ended, it’s never just one person’s fault. BOTH of you contributed to the demise of your relationship. You can’t expect to grow from the experience, if you’re still playing the blame game.
2. You are consumed by your singledom.
Newsflash: your life is not defined by your relationship status, no matter what Facebook tries to tell you. You have lots of things going on in your life, besides whether you’re dating someone or not. Focus on all of that shit.
3. You allow yourself to become bitter.
Listen carefully. If you think you’re going to be single forever, you will be. If you believe you will never fall in love, you won’t. If you think you’re unworthy of being loved, you are. You can’t put that kind of negativity into existence. You must believe that you will be loved, you are worthy of love, and will fall in love again, or for the first time.
4. You hate on happy couples.
Listen, they’re happy. Be happy for them. You would want all of your people to be happy for you, if it was you. And it will be you.
5. Allow Anyone to Be Intimate with You
You cannot complain about not finding a good girl/guy, if you’re so busy sticking your ding-a- ling in any vagina, or allowing any penis to penetrate you. You have to value yourself as a person, worthy of being made love to, not fucked. YES, I said that. Not saying casual sex is wrong. But you can’t continue having casual sex, in hopes of casual sex turning into something more. That works for some people, but not everyone. In my opinion, our generation has made sex so…..meaningless. If you want to be taken seriously, consider waiting on that part, until you know where you both stand, and what you both want. As we all know, sex can complicate things quickly.
The only way to break bad habits, and get the mate you deserve, is to acknowledge the things you are doing wrong. I know I pick the wrong guys. I’m comfortable saying that, because that is real. The question you have to ask yourself is….are you going to continue to do so, or are you going to change? I decided to cut every unhealthy relationship I had out of my life. I realized that I was blocking my own happiness, blocking myself from the person I’m destined to be with, by getting involved with guys who didn’t value me, who didn’t care for me. I’m not seeing anyone currently, for a reason. All of us have patterns, and in order to break the patterns, you have to look inside yourself. Focus on what exactly you are doing, to attract these individuals. All of it is not on the opposite sex, some of the blame is you. Once you come to this realization, the growing process begins. You begin to understand yourself, and learn what you want, and what you need to project, to get what you want.
What I want:”I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I’m the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me” Hannah, ‘Girls’
Good single people…..
1. Live their life, and rock the fuck out on the regular.
2. Believe in love. Believe that love will happen to them.
3. Are so busy being fucking AWESOME, they forget that they are indeed…single. They’re too busy enjoying everything life has to offer.
As a single person, I’ll tell you what I’m currently excited for.
Summer. Skirts. Music Festivals. Traveling. Meeting New People. Exploring. Challenging Myself. Good Conversation. Trying New Things.
and of course….
Meeting the Love of My Life.