Stop Trying to Rationalize Love.


‘Love? We think about it sometimes, always sing about it, dream about it, lose it, lose sleep over it. When we don’t have it, we search for it; when we discover it; when we discover it, we don’t know what to do with it; when we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain. But do we actually feel it, or do we only say it?’- Anonymous

My homegirl was spitting that real the other day, over some hookah and wine. She said,’ Stop trying to rationalize love.’ That statement slapped me in the mouth, literally. It made so much sense to me, for so many reasons. Who am I to really judge anyone who is in love? As if I’ve never experienced all of those feeings. If I’m honest with myself, I have. The frustration I felt trying to understand the actions of my friends and their constant stupidity and foolishness when it came to dealing with matters of the heart, suddenly seemed so clear to me: they were in love. Love is such a viable excuse and makes the most sense. Think about that one guy that your friends told you to stop fucking with because he continuously played you. Or that one guy you always gave a second chance even though you knew you shouldn’t. Or that one guy that you continuously made excuses for, because you felt so much for him and you didn’t understand why. Why, as women are we so quick to judge, and criticize? Anyone who has ever been in love, knows that it doesn’t make any damn sense. You cry over them, you curse them to oblivion, and then you smile because they said something to make you do so. You bitch them out to your friends, and then you excitedly text them when things are better and you’re ‘back together.’ Your heart is the most irrational part of your body. I’m starting to understand that more so now than ever before.

I used to get so annoyed with my girlfriend, because she always insisted on spending every single day with her man. It baffled me. Why in the world would I ever want to see the same person every single day? I’m a control freak, Type A personality. I like my personal space. I like things just so, and any kind of abrupt change, makes me uncomfortable. But recently, as I observed them, it dawned on me. They have no idea how anyone feels about them together, and they don’t care. They live in a separate world, where it’s just them, all the time. Some would deem this selfish, the fact that they make no room for self- reflection or consideration for others. In some ways, it is. But the fact of the matter is, that all of us are selfish in some way at some point. ESPECIALLY, if we are so completely enamored with a person. Granted, there is a line, and there definitely is a limit. But, for the first time, I understood, and I accepted it.

You will get ditched at least once, maybe twice. You will do the same at least once, for someone you love, or really like. You will disappear for the weekend, completely entranced by your lover, and forget about your everyday responsibilities. Your friends will ask you a million questions about your mystery man, and you will smile at them, revealing nothing. Because he belongs to you, you belong to him, and no outsider will ever understand what goes on between you two, because they aren’t in it. It is not mine or your position to judge or criticize, because we will never really understand, unless we’ve experienced it ourselves.

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