The Moving On Is the Hardest Part.

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she’s not, ’cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….

When you’re dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can’t, ’cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone….

don’t sleep on John Mayer. That man can write a good love song.

I’ve been thinking a lot about time. particularly the time it takes to get over someone…and the time it takes to let someone there’s no timetable for how long one has to get over someone they cared for. sometimes it takes weeks. sometimes longer.the worst part is no matter how many pep talks you get from friends, telling you to ‘get over it,move on,’ you can’t get over it until you’re ready.and only you know when that is.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I gave myself two days to get over the guy I was seeing for four months.i tried to convince everyone around me,including myself, that I was over worked…for two days. Then after a particularly difficult week at work, I let myself cry. Huge, gasping sobs; my eyes were puffy and red by the time I let it all out.You know what,readers? I felt so much better afterwards. It felt good to admit it to myself. I was sad,dissappointed, angry, and relieved all at once. I think that is the first real step in getting over someone.

An even bigger challenge, I’m finding, is finding the strength to start again. It kinda feels like when you running a race. You’ve been working hard, your timing is perfect, you’ve managed to conquer all of the difficult aspects of the race…and you’ve gotten to the end. Suddenly, the whistle blows,and you stop, out of breath, exhausted. And you’re told to start over.

Sorry guys, I’m a social worker. We love us some metaphors.

The point is, I did not realize until today how absolutely terrified I am of starting over. The thought of having to put myself out there, get to know someone new, assess their baggage and share mine, is terrifying. I literally feel my chest tightening as we speak. My head says that it’s important to put myself back out there. My heart, well that’s a different story.

The point is, whether you are trying to get over heartache or trying to start fresh, you have to be ready emotionally and mentally.i can’t tell you when that will be….but you’ll get there.we’ll all get there.

I’ve been trying to write real shit, so any feedback is welcomed. 🙂

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